Love is a magic word. It is a word with magical effects on us. It automatically calms us. We are all searching for love, our whole lifetime. I have been struggling with love too. Let me tell you my personal feelings about love and what I see as love.
In todays world of technology and communication, patterns are everywhere. I started seeing so called love/lust scenes on the internet and the TV when I was just 7 or 8 years old. The media is a strong messenger and I definitely was not an exception in receiving those messages fully. I have had a kind of prejudice towards love from childhood onwards. As a young man in the teenage years, I felt that love is something so different that it would be like balm for all other problems I might have. The media taught me that lust is the same as love. My understanding of love became no different than physical pleasure. So when I sat down listening to music and daydreaming about the future, the song lyrics and my patterned mind made me imagine purely physical aspects of love. Although listening to music and thinking about the one and only love of our lives feels good and match our desires completely, my experiences in life pushed me to think deeper about love. I have always been searching for the love of my life and at points I thought, that’s her, the one I was looking for. But the more I got closer to her the more I knew this is not going to work out. I remember my school teacher telling us: “Love is the same as lust. We just call it with a romantic name to ease our desires for lust.” This quote helped me come up with my own opinion about love:
Love is not something we have to search for. We cannot find somebody we utterly care about. Love is like trust. It has to be built and the most necessary tool for Love, is the will to want to love. In my opinion, the feeling of lust can develop from jealousy, physical attractions, loneliness or just random reasons but it always can be developed into love if we are truly willing to love.
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I fully agree on how you described that lust can lead to love. After my second relationship which lasted for 3 years, I came to the same conclusion. Now I am the mother of 3 with a loving husband.